Today Geoff starts the week of trainings for his residency program. Then he will actually be on his first shift next week. It’s hard for me to believe that this next step in the journey that is medicine is here. We’ve worked so hard to get here. Now it’s time to roll up our sleeves and get started.
When I asked Geoff how he was feeling yesterday, he said he was nervous. But I think anyone would be on their first day or at the beginning. I know I certainly would be. I hope he’s also excited as this is what he’s been working so hard for!!
Knowing my husband, there is a lot going through his head. I hope he knows he has the skills and if not, he will learn them. I hope he knows that he is doing the right thing, even when it feels wrong. I hope he knows that he is supported and loved by me and his parents. I hope he shows himself grace. I hope his passion is ignited and never dies.
I hear it again and again, what you put out into the universe is what you will get back. Think and talk positively, positive things will happen. Think and talk negatively, well, everything seems then to not go your way.
I’ve never really put this into practice, but there have been certain times in my life at where this practice (whether purposefully or not) has actually benefited me. For example, when it came time for Geoff to apply to residencies and for interview season to start, I kept saying positive affirmations about the situation. Partially because a) one of us had to be optimistic and b) I REALLY wanted it to happen. If you knew me back in Nevada or in real life at all, you know then that from the moment I moved away from Washington, all I could talk about was wanting to move back. How Washington had what we wanted for programs and things to do every season. And, would you look at us now? 🙂 I feel like as the spouse of someone in medical school (and now a resident’s wife), it can sometimes be hard to stay positive and be the rock they need to get through one of the toughest times. But when you see them achieve their goal or get their top residency pick, the tough times are worth it.
When I see people on social media about themselves or their goals in a pessimistic or negative way, I always find myself correcting them. It’s not ‘it might happen’ or ‘I doubt it will happen’. It’s ‘it WILL happen’ and it’s ‘I WILL AND CAN do it’! Because when we bolster and uplift those around us, we become better humans in turn.
Some people are better at manifesting when they write it down daily. Others prefer a dream board with images and numbers of the EXACT things they want to see. One of the best videos I found of this was Mallory Ervin’s linked here. If you want to read, some suggestions I have is You Are A Badass By Jen Sincerno and The Universe Has Your Back by Gabrielle Bernstein. I’m going to start taking my own advice (and those I’ve just mentioned) and start manifesting what I want. I’m going to manifest the job/career I want. The house I want. The life I want. Because life was meant to be lived and enjoyed. And I want every part of it.
Even though Washington has and will always be home, it feels weird to be back. It hasn’t quite hit me that I won’t be leaving in a week or so to head back to Nevada. It strangely feels like I’m here temporarily. Maybe that’s due to not having all my stuff here. Maybe that’s due to not having a job. Maybe that’s due to the fact that I miss Nevada terribly. But once all the kinks and wrinkles get ironed out, I probably will feel differently. Moving up to Seattle though in the spring/summer is awesome though because the weather is pretty. Sunny and ‘warm’ (relative comparing to Nevada) which is nice.
Edmonds Ferry Terminal
But I will be honest. It feels great to be back with my friends. I can strengthen relationships and reconnect with those I’ve lost touch with since I moved. With some it feels like no time has passed at all. With others, it will take a bit longer. And that’s okay. I know, I know….in an earlier post I mentioned that I wasn’t coming home for my family and friends, and that I was looking at building my tribe with the resident significant others….and I still am. I’m actually excited for the resident and spouse/significant other meet ‘n greet in June. But while I’m waiting for that time, it has been lovely to see my family and old friends.
Courtyard at my apartment building.
We’ve been in Seattle for about two weeks now…so far we still feel pretty confident that we will head back to Nevada after residency. Everything is more expensive here – food, gas, alcohol, etc. The difference in cost of living is insane and trying to get anywhere (especially during rush hour or on the weekends) is asking for a migraine. We’ll still give Washington it’s chance and stay put, for now.
Are you moving? Starting residency? Starting medical school? I would love to hear your thoughts on starting over and moving. Leave a comment below!
It’s ‘see you later’. Or at least, that’s what I’m going to keep telling myself. Wednesday, May 15th was my last day in Nevada. The following morning (Thursday, May 16th) I started driving up to Washington with my in-laws, husband, and my mother.
It was about as emotional as I thought it was going to be. I cried as Geoff and I spent time together for the last time in our first home. Just us two. No one else. It was very bittersweet as we got ready to leave it behind for now. We also took one last walk around the neighborhood too. As of now we plan on visiting and possibly moving back. But who really knows what will happen. We could stay in Washington.
There were so many good memories at that house. That house will also be very special to us always as it was the first home we bought together. We got to see it go from a concrete slab to framing to walls, to doors and windows, to bring a finished structure. We got to choose some of the furnishings – the tile on the first floor, the carpet. We got to make it ours. Thankfully we know the tenants moving in and we know they’ll take care of the house.
What sucks is that in the last 2-3 months, I have had to say goodbye to my childhood home and my first home. Both of which I wanted to spend more time saying goodbye too. Kinda shitty if you ask me. Geoff and I made a short video about leaving. We’ll put it together and I’ll share it here.
We made it though. Two days of driving for 8+ hours. Lots of rain, wind, and traffic. I’m exhausted and ready to not ever ride or drive for weeks. But alas, I have to drive to the apartment tomorrow to pick up keys. Already I miss Nevada…but I will be back. 💕
There are not enough words to express how happy and proud of this man I am. He is now a doctor and that makes me now a doctors wife. Wow, what an honor – truly, it is an honor. It takes a lot of trust, faith, pixie dust (see what I did there?! Lol), patience, sacrifices, love, and strength to commit to this journey.
For those that are in the middle of their medical school journey or just starting, I’m honored to be a part of a select group of significant others who support someone through medical school. There are not many people who know or understand the life that you live or will live. One piece of advice I want to say – find your tribe during medical school (and during residency), for they will be your rock when things get tough and you want to throw in the towel. Now go get ’em!
Geoff and his study buddies after dinner and a round of golf.
It’s almost time to draw the curtain on the act/journey that is four years of medical school. Then a slight intermission, followed by the second act, which is equally as long, that is four years of residency. My family is here with one more arriving on Sunday (Mother’s Day). I am thankful that family has traveled from different parts of the country for this momentous occasion. It’s hard for me to believe that everything that we (yes, we – because medical school is not just about my husband making it through) have worked so hard for us coming to a close.
I am so damn proud of my husband. He worked so hard during the first two years to do well in school. He will be graduating with honors and towards the top of his class. Long nights of studying and proving his abilities during his rotations have culminated to this moment – graduation. You can bet your bottom dollar that I will screaming like the proud wife I am on Monday. There is no doubt in my mind that he will do just as well in residency as he did in medical school. He will be a great anesthesiologist and I’m looking forward to watch him flourish and grow in his new career.
Over the next few days, I’m going to enjoy spending time with my family and be fully present when my husband graduates.
The U-Boxes got delivered today. It actually finally hit me that pretty soon we’ll be leaving Nevada and heading back to Washington. I have about 9 days left to enjoy the dessert and the sun. Ack! Don’t get me wrong, I am humbled, blessed, and aware of how lucky my husband and I are to be going home. However, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t going to miss Nevada. I’m going to miss my home, my friends, the weather, our gym, etc. I know new memories will be made during residency and up in Washington…but it will take time for me to be fully excited. Once we get up there I think it will be easier. Guaranteed I will cry buckets when we drive away. But until then….I am going to be P R E S E N T these next few days.
If you want a more updated sense of how life is going, follow me on Instagram (@michaellawoo1)! Xoxo
DO 2019 Graduation Banquet. Top Row: Dean Gilliard, Michaella. Bottom Row: Naomi, Nicole.
When I think about the last two years of medical school, I think about how different it was than the first two. Instead of being in the classroom, they’re out on rotation and experiencing REAL interactions with patients. Chances are is that most students at the end of second year/beginning of third year have not ever really interacted with patients.
Each month (except internal medicine and general surgery which were two months) was something different. The schedules were always different, which also meant the sleep schedule was different. I remember the alarm going off at 3:30 in the morning during the two months Geoff had surgery because he had to be there at 4am, then turning over and praying I could get a few more hours of shuteye before my alarm went off around 6:30a or 7a. Let’s just say I was VERY happy when that rotation was over. The cool thing about third year is that it is the opportunity for your S.O. to figure out what they want to go into. Some people (like Geoff) knew what they wanted to go into, but still kept an open mind. Others needed the rotations of third year to figure things out. Granted, how your S.O. did on boards will also directly influence what specialty they can go into. The better you do on boards, the more competitive the specialty you can go for. Although keep in mind that this isn’t always directly correlated to guaranteeing a secured spot in the match.
January 2018
By the end of the third year, your S.O. needs to have an idea of what specialty they want. Why? Because from the beginning of fourth year (July through February) they’re still doing rotations local to the medical school, audition rotations (at some of the residency programs that they want to go too), and interviews at (hopefully) a handful of programs. Some schools will say that they need to do 3-4+ audition rotations…but they don’t really have to do that many. Certain specialties like Orthopedic Surgery for D.O.’s do require you to do more than 4 (more like 6) audition rotations. Geoff only did 2 and that was plenty. Audition rotations are hard – mentally, emotionally, and physically. They can either be 2-weeks or 4-weeks long and can really take a toll on ones relationship and finances. Let’s be honest, the two thirds of 4th year are hard. The pressure is on for your S.O. to perform well consistently.
If you have a S.O. currently in medical school and they’re entering the last 2 years, congratulations! Seriously though, congrats. Medical school is a beast and it’s just as hard for you as it is for them. Allow me to provide some advice:
Start saving money for away (audition) rotations, residency applications, interviews, and moving expenses (or a trip) before residency NOW. Don’t max out your student loans unless necessary, but do start to build a strong savings account that will help pay for the upcoming expenses. Plan for all of it to cost around 5-figures.
Get TSA Pre-check. Chances are is they will do a lot of flying for interviews and it is a life saver. This will especially be important if your S.O. has multiple interviews days apart from each other and/or flies out of major airport hubs. It’s only $85 for 5 years. Do it. Get it for yourself too while you’re at it.
Get a good credit card. We got the Chase Sapphire Preferred card and love it. Do your research and find the card that best fits you and your situation.
If there are certain places that you want to rank HIGH on your rank order list for residency, try to travel with your S.O. as a lot of times there is a dinner the night before interviews and sometimes S.O.’s are allowed to join. This also gives you an option to see if YOU would like the area too.
Communicate with your S.O. about how you’re feeling. If you’re feeling a certain way about the process, tell them. Don’t allow yourself to say ‘they’ve got too much on their plate right now, I won’t mention it’ or ‘ it’s not that big of a deal’ when it actually is.
You WILL get through this. Once the Match has taken place, it’s pretty much a nice downhill slide till graduation….except for the moving part. It throws a wrench into the whole plan as you’re then given two months to get life squared away. From Match till you’re done people will ask how you’re moving, when you’re moving, if you’re excited about moving, what/who you’re using, and what you’re doing with your home (if you bought while in medical school). Some people will judge you for doing things one way or differently than the ‘norm’ but don’t worry about it. You do what is best for you and your S.O. because in the end, that’s what matters.
DO 2019 Graduation Banquet – Geoff and IDO 2019 Graduation Banquet – our med school family
Somewhere in the chaos, try to enjoy the process and soak everything in. I know it’s hard, trust me, but you don’t want to look back wishing you had done more with friends or gone on a trip or even just be more present with those around you. Also, give yourself a pat on the back because you ARE DOING IT. You are surviving medical school as the S.O. (or maybe even as the student) and that is awesome.
“You’ve got to be kidding me. THAT is how much we owe in loans + interest?!” Insert really loud groan here.
That was a conversation I had recently with my husband. We were figuring out some things financially and it lead to us figuring out exactly how much we owe in student loans thanks to medical school. To put it into perspective (and being as vague as I can) – we owe close to half a million dollars. Half a million dollars. Let that sink in. If you’re going to be taking out a loan for medical school, now how do you and/or your spouse feel about becoming a doctor?
In all honesty, I know that it will be worth it and we’ll pay off the debt. That I am not concerned about. Both of us are determined to bring our debt down as soon as possible. No matter how you try to spin it though, it’s a lot of freaking money. This is why it grinds my gears when people say to me “Oh, you’re going to be a doctors wife. You’re set.” It’s even worse when they hear the specialty that my husband wants to go into – Anesthesia. “Oh wow, that’s awesome. They make lots of money.” I have mentioned this on the blog before in my post I Don’t Want to Hear It. Yes, I will be a doctors wife. And I’m damn proud of it. There was (and still are) lots of sacrifices that are being made so that we can have an abundance of blessings later.
The most important thing we can do is start looking at ways we can pay this debt off as quickly as we can while still saving for our future. There are several options out there and to make sure that we’re not choosing incorrectly, we will seek out the advice of a financial advisor/planner. It can be hard to work with a financial planner as they obviously want your business, so they might try to push their services, but you don’t want to be pushed into anything either. When you’re dealing with money, whether it be a large amount of debt or a surplus of money, you cannot just go with the first suggestion provided to you. It is important to seek advice from multiple people. We consult our fathers individually as well as professional advice (on a couple of other occasions) from those in financial planning.
The day that we become debt free is going to be so sweet and I cannot wait! Let’s get this ball rolling now….
Navigating Life as a Doctor's Wife 