2020 Reflections

If we have learned anything from this year, it is that it has been a complete s***show. Okay, maybe not a complete s***show, but it has been challenging in more ways than one. For some, jobs were lost and anxiety about how to pay bills set in. For some, loved ones lost their lives to COVID-19 (WASH YOUR HANDS, SOCIAL DISTANCE, AND WEAR YOUR MASKS PEOPLE). For some, the battles with their physical, mental, and emotional health were conquered – and for others, they struggled. Whatever this year has looked like for you, if no one has told you recently – you’re doing great. This year has put most of us into survival mode and I think that it’s important to celebrate small wins as well as the big ones.

When I reflect on this year, I can’t help but feel blessed, frustrated, and guilty all at the same time. I feel blessed because I was able to keep my job through the pandemic as was my husband (essential worker – yay healthcare). To not have a period where we worried if we were going to be able to pay our rent, utilities, or our mortgage is truly a blessing. I understand my privilege in being able to say that. I feel frustrated because I feel like I didn’t accomplish as much as I could have. All over Instagram you see these people who used the pandemic to really make improvements in their health and in their life…yet, I feel like I have just stayed the same. Comparison really is the thief of joy. I feel guilty because of my blessings. I feel guilty that I can still enjoy my life and that I can still afford my lifestyle (not that it was all that extravagant before) and wants without thinking twice. Again, I recognize my privilege in being able to say that.

This year has seen some really crazy events – social injustice and the worldwide support of Black Lives Matter, an election that determined the fate of the country for decades to come, and a vaccine for COVID-19. I think though we can all agree that in some ways the events that transpired this year also brought us closer. We are grateful for the small things – food on the table, our health, the health of loved ones, a roof over our heads, waking up each day, a slower pace. To me, we as a country learned that the most important words in 2020 are kindness, grace, unity, strength, and hope. What words would you use to describe 2020?

As we close up the year that has been 2020. I wish for all of you a better 2021. I hope that you get to see loved ones again. I hope that you count your blessings. I hope nothing but happiness and great fortune for you and your loved ones.

All my love, Michaella

I Did It.

I started a YouTube channel. I’ve been thinking about it for years and have waffled back and forth about it. What would it be. Why am I doing it. Who would watch/care. Etc. I tried to convince myself to that I shouldn’t. But that’s fear talking. So I overcame fear and published a video. I dropped a link below! It would mean so much to me if you liked the video and subscribed. (I can’t believe I’m actually saying that). Lol

Kella Roo Channel

Traveling During COVID

The husband and I had time off at the beginning of last month (October) and while it is still COVID times, we needed to get away. To get out of state. While I wish we didn’t have to deal with COVID, it was exactly what we needed. It’s cold, wet, and gross here right now in Seattle, so we chose to go somewhere sunny. We went to Las Vegas and Southern Utah!

If you’re new here, we lived in the Vegas area for 4 years while Geoff went to medical school. We had not yet been back since our return to Washington. When we got off the plane, we were hit with the familiar heat, smells, and sights of the Vegas valley. Needless to say, we were very happy to be in a warmer climate. It only confirmed that long term, we probably want to be somewhere warmer. Sorry mom.

We bracketed our trip with time in Las Vegas. Flew in on Sunday, ran around town. Got my favorite poke (Poke Poku) for lunch, visited the outlet malls, and even got deep dish pizza (Giordanos) for dinner! That same night we drove to Southern Utah where we were meeting up with my in-laws who just also happened to be down there at the same time! Driving with the deep dish pizza in the back was torture because it smelled SO GOOD. But we waited till we could share it with my in-laws. And it was well worth the wait.

Since a majority of our trip was spent in Southern Utah, we had my in-laws show us around their future city of retirement. Went to some amazing food places, which I have listed down below. We are very excited for them and cannot wait for their home to be complete. They’ve worked so incredibly hard for this and the fact they’re getting everything they want, makes my heart full.

Lamy’s – very good Mexican food.
Iceberg – heads up, the mini milkshake? Is not mini.
Icebox – try the pastrami burger.
Nielsen’s Frozen Custard – similar to Iceberg, share.

This was the mini. My in-laws were laughing because both my husband and I got our own. We will be sharing next time.

While also in Southern Utah, we went backpacking. How could we not somehow spend some time outside in Zion National Park?! If you’re curious, we ended up doing the Hop Valley to Lee’s Canyon trail. It wasn’t bad at all. Geoff wanted to possibly do two nights instead of one…but thankfully I was able to convince him that one night was enough. Hahaha I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love being outdoors and backpacking. But hiking in the PNW is very different than hiking in the high desert. Thank goodness we chose to play it safe. The hike from our campsite, to our ending point (Lee’s Canyon) was mostly in the sun…and it was uphill. Which. Sucked. With little to no water sources (the Virgin River where one would normally get water had a bacteria in it that was not safe for consuming), it meant we carried ALL OF OUR WATER for the two days we were out in the backcountry. For the two of us, we took 10L and it was just enough to get us through.

Geoff looking at the beauty of Zion. Right at the end/beginning of the trail to the Kolab Arch.

We cannot wait to go back again and explore another part of the park. Hopefully this time there won’t be any bad bacteria infecting the water sources. Carrying all your water is pretty cumbersome. Have you been to Zion? Did you do any backpacking? If so, what did you do and did you enjoy it?? Tell me more!

While it is now cold and gross here in the PNW I am going to dream of warmer weather and planning for our next trip down. Hopefully very soon! 🤞🏼❤️

Climate Change

Seattle visibility and air quality over the course of one week due to fires.

It’s real. It’s here. And it should scare you. If you’re living under a rock, then it might be news to you that the West Coast has some of THE WORST AIR QUALITY IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW. If you don’t have to go outside – don’t. If you must venture outside….wear an N95 mask or any mask for that matter. Something is better than nothing.

It has been incredibly difficult to stay inside all day for the most part. I can’t go on a walk during lunch and get a change of scenery. I can’t pull weeds or mow my lawn (which I desperately need to do). I can’t open the window in my bathroom to allow for air circulation when I shower or go #2 💩 (sorry, TMI). I don’t think I will ever take a big gulp of fresh air for granted ever again.

My husband and I are getting out of town in a few weeks and I cannot freaking wait. I’m looking forward to being in a different state and truly feeling like I am getting away. Staycations are nice, but they’re not entirely relaxing. What is even better about where we are going is they have cleaner air. Much cleaner than Seattle at this point.

And that’s going to be the best feeling ever.

Call Me, Beep Me, If You Wanna Reach Me

Call. More specifically in house call. He’s been home for less than 45 minutes and he’s been paged. Likely this means he will need to go in. But this has not yet been determined. He left at 5:45a-6:00a this morning.

Life of a doctor. I can tell I’m going to quickly loathe the sound of the pager. But I’d rather it go off now than when I’m deep in sleep. I can remember growing up and hearing my dads pager go off in the middle of the night. It always woke me up as my bedroom wall shared a wall with my parents bedroom.

But we’re going to try and go to sleep….wish us luck.

28 Hours

That’s how long Geoff is on call. I won’t see him till about 9am tomorrow (Sunday) morning. It’s bittersweet being alone. On one hand I get to starfish in the bed and have a night/day of have a night of self-care. On the other, I miss hanging out and his presence.

It’s a schedule that I will eventually get used too. But this is the territory that comes with residency. It’s going to be like this for the next few years and that’s okay. We will find a balance.

This will all be worth it. ❤️

3 Years

One Year Wedding Anniversary Surprise 🤍

My mother in law and father in law helped us pull off the surprise in the video. It was about to be our one-year wedding anniversary and Geoff was up in WA doing an away rotation. Before this plan came together, I was disappointed that we wouldn’t be together for our anniversary. Sure we’d have been together at that point for 9 years, but your first wedding anniversary is special. ❤️

Today we’re celebrating three years married out of the eleven years we’ve been together. It’s been a crazy ride and I wouldn’t change it for the world. We’ve gone through college, medical school, and now in the middle of residency together. Each period has brought its own challenges for us both personally as individuals and together as a couple.

Three years down, a lifetime to go. ❤️

4th of July

This year it feels different. That’s because it IS different. Not only are we still in the midst of a pandemic…but we’re also still dealing still with Black Lives Matter. Black people are still fighting for equality. They’re still being killed in disproportionately high rates compared to white people and to other minorities. It feels wrong to celebrate the 4th of July.

This year I’m going to take some time reflect and learn something new. It’s also time to make a change.

❤️🤍💙

The Doctors Office

My dad practiced medicine for his career. He started the clinic where I’m at when I was young/a baby/before I was born. I’ve seen this clinic grow from a smaller office of only a handful of physicians to the size it is now, and where it is now. I remember when my dad was approving layout designs for the new space. The blueprints were so interesting to me and I was always asking for updates on the construction/development.

I know a lot of the physicians that are still practicing here. Most of them were hired by my dad. He’s inspired a lot of the physicians here and he tried to keep the clinic culture and focus on the patients. Something that can be lost (and is lost) sometimes in medicine. It’s a very proud moment for me as a daughter to see the fruits of my dads labor. But I will also be honest, I didn’t always have this level of appreciation. Maybe it’s because I’m married into medicine now, or maybe it’s because I’m older. Either way, I’m proud of my dad.

I’m sitting here in the waiting room of the same clinic my dad started, grew, and retired from. I’m waiting to see my PCP and I can’t help but think about this stuff. This clinic has been around my entire life. All 29 years of it. The chair I’m sitting in – I remember the conversation about design. My dad was explaining why they were needed. For those who are curious, they’re extra wide chairs for those who are on the heavier side and they’re able to support the weight. It’s memories and conversations like the one about the chair that make me smile and chuckle.

They’re going to call my name soon. Here we go.

🤍

Even during this time of sadness and anger – and even though it feels incredibly wrong. I give myself permission to find pockets of joy & happiness. This DOES NOT mean I am dismissing anything that is happening or taking the time to educate myself. It means that I am taking care of me, so I can show up for the Black community in full force.

🤍✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿🤍

Navigating Life as a Doctor's Wife