The process of away rotations and interviewing for residencies that is, not medical school. We won’t be officially done with that till May 2019. But it’s nice to FINALLY have my husband back after almost two and a half months of being in and out of the area.
Thank goodness for connections that were made during third year with the previous fourth years. It was so helpful to get insight into what this part of the journey looks like. Now that we’ve been through it, I can say that I am thankful for the planning that we were able to do.
We made sure to get TSA Pre-check
Got a really good travel credit card
Saved and planned for 5-figure spending for flights, hotels, rental car, food, etc.
Used friends and family when we could
Something I wished we knew prior to away rotations and the interview process is how hard it can be for you as the S.O. They’re in and out so often, that a lot of the time you feel like you might as well be single. When your S.O. is gone so much, you still live your life. You create your own schedule, do your own thing, and get used to doing things alone. Then it’s all sent to hell in a hand basket upon their return. (Love you too sweetie!)
Depending on the specialty that interests your S.O. and what your options are for residencies, they may or may not have a lot of away rotations. I know some people who did 4-6 away rotations back-to-back because that is what was needed to be considered for that residency program/specialty. There are some people who don’t do any at all. But I think the average for most people is roughly 1-3 away rotations.
Now….organizing all those interviews into a rank list. And hoping that in March one of those places will be our new home for the next four years. Gotta take a leap of faith right? Here goes nothing…
I’m going to wake up. They weren’t serious when they said that they were letting us go. What did I do wrong to not be considered as someone to be kept on? Was it how emotional I got during escalation calls? Was it how much I complained on occasion? I wish I knew the answer. I wish I knew their logic and reasoning. But I won’t. And I never will.
On Friday, January 18th I got laid off from my job. I have never been laid off (or fired for that matter) before. It’s an odd feeling. Being told your getting laid off because your position is redundant. It’s not enough that I was a part of the original 40-50 of the office that helped get it to where it grew exponentially. However, when they chose the 40 some odd people to keep, I was not one of them. Sure, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for those that got to keep their job. But I would be lying if I said I wasn’t just a little bit jealous or bitter.
Thankfully I am not in as bad of a position as some of my colleagues. Geoff and I have a savings with enough to cover us until we move (if we move) for residency. I’m blessed and grateful we have planned for the unexpected. We’re going to be budgeting now more than ever. For some of my colleagues, my heart hurts. All of us have bills, some have kids, one just bought a house. How they’re going to manage, I’m not sure. I wish they could have been saved.
I’m not sure what I will do with my time now. I’ve got two months till Match day and 5 months till graduation/moving day. Chances are is I will fill my time with working out, maintaining my home, finding a hobby, taking some free online classes, and relaxing. God only knows my stress levels were through the roof with my job. I’m also choosing to try and be positive about this situation. Because I am a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason. This is just one door that closed in my chapter of life. Now, it’s time to find the next one.
Sometimes that’s all that can be said. 💕 Whatever is weighing heavy on your heart or your mind…may you know that whatever happens, everything will be alright.
There is so many comments that are said to us that make us cringe or make us furrow our brow. Something we hear a lot is “Oh, you’re married to a doctor, you’re going to be fine” or “He’s going to be an [insert specialty here]? They make bank.” Yeah, those might be true…BUT it’s more than the money. It’s so much more. Because what you don’t see is the hours of work put in studying. The hours of work put in to bring in an income (if you’re working). The endless support emotionally and mentally as a S.O. The sacrifices that are made daily to ensure your S.O.’s dream is supported. The amount of loans that has accumulated over the course of 4-years.
Behind the title of ‘doctor’ there is so much more. It’s like that image of the iceberg in water. On the surface people see one thing, but beneath the surface they don’t see (or always understand) the work that has been put in. It takes a strong person to want to stand with someone and support them through medical school. It takes a strong person to want to become a doctor!
Creating a garden in my backyard this past summer (2018).
When Geoff and I got married July 2017, we had just finished second year and USMLE Step 1. For our wedding we had decided that my childhood pastor would be the officiant. Her message during our ceremony was one that I will never forget. She talked about how ones marriage is like a flower/garden. In a garden you get the pots, the soil, the flowers, the seeds, and the tools you will need to start your garden. But if you don’t fertilize and water your garden, the garden dies. It only flourishes and grows if you put the time and the effort to ensure it flourishes.
The cherry tree in front of may parents home.
She couldn’t be more right. Geoff and I have always tried to make a point to have date night once a week or to spend quality time with each other over the weekend (assuming I didn’t have to work). It was whatever we could make it – trips to Costco, trips to the grocery store, walking model homes, walking around another part of town, or venturing out further to go walk/hike.
Me and Geoff hiking out at Mt. Charleston.
Your spouse will spend a good chunk of the first two years (including the summers) studying. Whether that be for a class exam or the boards. Then the last two years are them on rotations both in the local area and away (audition rotations for residency). It sometimes can be hard to fit in time together and it’s easier to find an excuse as to why no time was made. They were busy studying. I had work/other commitments. The kids (if applicable) had this, that, and the other thing. We’re too tired. We forgot. We can do it another day. The list goes on. But anything important is worth making time for. Let your relationship/marriage be a priority. You won’t regret it.
London Bridge is falling down my fair lady. And there I stood; standing in the middle of a plan I called life. Crumbled all around me; the pieces of my glorious bridge. Damn what a beautiful structure. Meticulously built, labored over and held together with love. The med school bomb just exploded. I tried, I really did but the tears spilt over, rolling down my cheeks. He was serious and the more I tried to talk him out of it, the more I realized there was no going back. My stomach sank and that very moment I knew life would never be the same. Perhaps I should’ve stood my ground, maybe threw an absolute bitch fit but in the end who I am to deny a man his destiny. He took the MCAT, applied to med school, and before I could even catch my breath we packed up and moved to Vegas. Welcome to year one.
Go ahead, search high and low for information on first year and being married to medicine. I did. I read every blog post, drowned in YouTube videos but nothing truly prepared me. Plain and simple, med school takes over. It will dominate and redefine every aspect of your existence. Choosing to go into medicine is not just a job. Year one exists to show you medicine is life; medicine is a calling.
Our medical transition is different than most. The best case scenario a med school candidate is young, single, has financial support and ready to take on the world. Med school year one, we’re in our 30’s, twelve year marriage with older kids, two dogs, couple of parakeets, fish and a partridge in a pear tree. So let’s just say I haven’t handled it the best. I try but…
Long story short love, become one with change, breathe in change, breathe out change, obtain peace with change. And by change I mean the sooner you can deal with feeling alone the better. The loneliness will eat at you, don’t let it. Time to suck it up buttercup, you’re a med school spouse. Year one is meant for you to build a support system. You’re going to need this for the rest of med school. Each year is more difficult. Truly invest in things that bring you peace and emotional support. If at all possible stay close to family during med school and if that isn’t an option reach out and make friendships so strong they become your family. Year one I spent watching him study. Don’t do that. Get out, do you boo and when you can connect with your S/O, go out and have a good time!
Year one will rock your world as will year two, three and four. Each year is a different hurdle but year one is about studying and labs and studying and lecture and studying more…did I say studying? My hubs spent hours studying, sometimes 16 hr days. Undergrad is like water hose of information being sprayed at you and med school is like a freaking fire hydrant. So when your S/O has to study don’t take it personally because they’re literally treading water, trying not to drown in information.
You got this! YOU GOT THIS! Be gracious with yourself during this transition and realize there’s no perfect way to do it. Most of all know you’re not alone!
This was something that we found ourselves asking towards the end of the first year of medical school. The rent for our apartment was going to be increasing and the difference between that and a mortgage was just around $200. With medical school being only four years, was it worth it to make the investment if we only had three years left?
We started to look at housing anyways just to see what we could afford and what the market looked like. One thing we knew was that we wanted to stay in/around the neighborhood we were currently in. It was close to everything we needed. There were some older homes across the street that we looked at…and a new housing development going up down the way. Our first thought was that the new housing development was out of reach, we can’t afford it, but we’ll look through the model homes for the heck of it. Naturally we fell in love with the model homes and the furnishings in it. Just like my last post, we walked through in awe and began dreaming.
After a few weeks to a month (or so) of looking, we ran the numbers and realized that the new housing community down the street might actually be in reach! With the down payment we were putting down, we got pre-approved for the loan we needed on just my income. During the build process, we got to pick some of the furnishings and upgrade certain things. Granted we had to be strategic though about what we chose to upgrade. Our process for choosing what we did was based on resale value if we ever had to sell the home. What would other buyers want?
We ended up choosing the following: – wood like tile flooring for the first floor (minus the Harry Potter closet) – stainless steel appliances – slightly more padding under the carpet upstairs – upgraded electrical so the house can be wired for an alarm system or surround sound in the future – ethernet ports in all living areas (including our loft)
I am happy to say that I have been in our home since late August/early September of 2016. At first I tried not to get too attached, but now it is safe to say that the house has definitely become a home.
My husband and I LOVE (and mean LOVE) going to model homes and walking through them. It gives us lots of ideas and inspiration for what we want our DREAM HOME to look like.
Things that we know we want are:
A coffee bar in the kitchen (because coffee is life)
Open floor plan
Fireplace (gas of course)
Nice master suite with a large soaking tub
Great outdoor living
Kitchen with lots of counter space
Double ovens (for those holiday and family gatherings)
A space for guests
Last weekend we went to a new development community near our home and just walked around in awe. It was so much fun, because we love a lot of the same things and cannot wait till the day we build our own home.
Below are some pics of some of the homes we walked through. Chances are is that we’ll go find a new community somewhere for us to walk through this weekend. What I love is that each builder has a different style or design inspiration. This gives you (in my opinion) an opportunity to see multiple types of decor and how to organize/design a space.
I have spent the new year thus far with a cold. I’m talking, the head pounding, stuffy nose, whole tissue box used, sleep all the time cold. It wasn’t exactly the way that I wanted to bring in 2019. But thankfully it has been slower at work, which has allowed me to not feel bad for feeling the way I do. One of the good things about being sick/it being slower at work means that I am able to start this blog!
It is now day 9 of said sickness…it can go away now. Thanks! You see all the time the commercials on TV for Puffs tissues. I’ve always wanted to try them, but never wanted to spend the money. You guys, I seriously have the best co-workers! One of my team members went out and got me two types of Puffs tissues, both with lotion, but one even had Vicks in it!! It smells divine and actually really helped improve/heal the rawness of my nose.
Hopefully this sickness goes away. Cross your fingers, arms, legs, and toes! xoxo
Even though year one of medical school for us was August 2015 through May/June 2016, it sometimes feels like yesterday we were trying to navigate uncharted territory. It was learning where things were in a new city for the first time, learning how to live with Geoff (we hadn’t lived together prior to medical school), learning how to balance work with holding down the fort at home, trying to find a support system locally when we had no family around, and so much more.
When you move somewhere new I feel like you have to build in WAY more time than you think to get around. Google maps was (and still is) our best friend. Believe it or not, it is quite easy to get lost in Vegas. For the first several months, all I knew was how to get to the necessities – work, home, Costco, the grocery store, and the mall. Other than that, I Google Maps’d everything. Thankfully it did get easier to get around.
Photo Cred: Google
Geoff and I didn’t live together prior to medical school. We lived with our parents up until we moved. Sure he visited me in college for a weekend, but we hadn’t lived in the same space together for more than a week. There was a learning curve to moving in together as there is usually with most couples (I think). Habits that we had developed at our parents house were needing to be discussed and fixed. Discussing about how we were going to handle cooking, cleaning, and bills/finances. I would be lying if I said everything was sunshine and roses. We certainly had our rough patches. But we would end up talking our problems out and moving forward with a better understanding of the other individuals point of view.
Year one was also Geoff figuring out the best way to study for exams. Studying at home in the study or going back to campus after dinner and studying. Usually it was the latter of the two. He would come home from school when I said dinner was ready, he would eat, and then he would leave again to go back to campus and study for several more hours. Sometimes he wouldn’t come back till 11p or later and would do this for remainder of the year. It strained our relationship, as there would be days when I only saw him for dinner as the weekends were spent studying on campus too. He also spent some time during his first year figuring out what materials were best and which ones he could do without. When and how he should start studying for boards. I can’t speak on those two topics, but whatever he found, it worked! Maybe I’ll have him write a piece on study tips for those who may be struggling to find what works for them.
I had either read it on a website or heard it from Geoff when he had interviewed, that it was important to build a support system and make friends with other S.O.’s who were in the same boat. Moving to Nevada, one of my biggest fears was that I wasn’t going to meet any ladies/spouses I meshed well with. Would they like me? Would I like them? Will we be friends during medical school? After medical school? These were questions I thought often. Something that we did when we first moved down was go to the events that the school put on to help all the first years socialize with each other. It was there that we met some of our closest friends – Charles and Nicole. Right after the first exam of medical school, Charles and Nicole invited us and a group of others to sushi. It was there I met Tommy and Naomi. It was like God was watching out for me. He put two amazing ladies in my life and I knew that I was going to get through medical school just fine.
From Left: Nicole, Me, Naomi
The first year would also be the first year that I was away from my family for the holidays. I was lucky enough to be able to go home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. For Thanksgiving I was able to surprise my mom. She had no idea I was coming. My dad, my sister, and my grandma knew. She did not. The look on her face was priceless and one I will never forget.
I feel like the first year of medical school was all about adjusting. Adjusting to a new place, new people, and a new way of investing in your relationship(s). It’s funny to look back on the first year of medical school now and remember how long the next four years were going to be. There were lots of things that I wish we could have done differently, but there are a lot of things that I wouldn’t change. Knowing that things were only going to get more challenging moving forward, I braced myself and said ‘Bring it on.’
Navigating Life as a Doctor's Wife 