Navigating Life as a Doctor's Wife
Life's joyous moments and challenges brought to you by medical school, residency, & beyond!
Today was/is Match Day. It has been the day that we have been waiting for since we started medical school. Geoff and I FINALLY know where we are headed for residency.
WE ARE HEADED BACK HOME! Home to the Pacific Northwest. 💕 We are so excited and CANNOT wait. Here are some photos from earlier today. Congratulations to everyone who matched!!
How can one be at peace or be peaceful amongst the storm? Amongst all the chaos that is life?
I’ve always admired those who were able to be positive and optimistic when life seemed to make a 180 degree turn. They seem to see the silver lining and keep moving ahead when they have every right to throw a tantrum. Sure, you can say that ‘this too shall pass’, but right now it certainly doesn’t feel like it. Kinda feels like it’s spiraling more and more out of control as time goes on. But it feels selfish to be feeling the way I do, when I know that it’s hard for everyone else too. I’m not the only one having a hard time dealing with this….my whole family is having a hard time dealing with this, but all in our own ways.
I’m sitting at the kitchen table in my parents house and it’s quiet. Peacefully quiet, but at the same time it’s far from quiet. There is so much noise and so much going on, I just want to hide away. No, I’m not trying to get sympathy comments or hugs or words from people, I’m also trying not to come off as some motivational speaker/person. Unfortunately, this is how I feel at this given moment in time. Sorry for how sporadic this post is….I’m just writing down what I am feeling and what I am thinking about. If you know me in real life or have spoken to me recently, then you know what I’m going through. For personal and private reasons, I won’t divulge it on the blog yet. Maybe one day I will, but that day is not today.
Xoxo
My old coworker Brandon said it first. But it really is the best way to describe my time off of work so far or what it will be by the time I have to move for residency. It’s only been a little over a week since I’ve been laid off. A week. Yet I feel like I’m going to lose my mind.
Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the fact that my stress levels have just decreased significantly since being let go. My shoulders aren’t as tight and I feel like lots of stress has left my lower back. It’s hard to even entertain the idea of bringing that back on.
However, if I am being honest – I am bored out of my freaking mind. I am working out at least once a day for at least four days a week. Soon I will be trying to do two-a days. I am maintaining my household chores – laundry and dishes and vacuuming to name a few. I miss keeping my mind busy and challenging it. I miss seeing my coworkers on a daily basis. Sure, I could (and should) look into free-online classes. There are tons out there to choose from. But do I wanna sit at the desk in our study and do this? Ehhhhh not really.
I’m sure I will find some other things to fill my time. Maybe I’ll become a personal trainer. Maybe I’ll learn Chinese (again). Who knows what I’ll end up doing. But I’ll figure it out. Eventually. Slowly but surely.
Xoxo
Sometimes that’s all that can be said. 💕 Whatever is weighing heavy on your heart or your mind…may you know that whatever happens, everything will be alright.
xoxo
There is so many comments that are said to us that make us cringe or make us furrow our brow. Something we hear a lot is “Oh, you’re married to a doctor, you’re going to be fine” or “He’s going to be an [insert specialty here]? They make bank.” Yeah, those might be true…BUT it’s more than the money. It’s so much more. Because what you don’t see is the hours of work put in studying. The hours of work put in to bring in an income (if you’re working). The endless support emotionally and mentally as a S.O. The sacrifices that are made daily to ensure your S.O.’s dream is supported. The amount of loans that has accumulated over the course of 4-years.
Behind the title of ‘doctor’ there is so much more. It’s like that image of the iceberg in water. On the surface people see one thing, but beneath the surface they don’t see (or always understand) the work that has been put in. It takes a strong person to want to stand with someone and support them through medical school. It takes a strong person to want to become a doctor!
When Geoff and I got married July 2017, we had just finished second year and USMLE Step 1. For our wedding we had decided that my childhood pastor would be the officiant. Her message during our ceremony was one that I will never forget. She talked about how ones marriage is like a flower/garden. In a garden you get the pots, the soil, the flowers, the seeds, and the tools you will need to start your garden. But if you don’t fertilize and water your garden, the garden dies. It only flourishes and grows if you put the time and the effort to ensure it flourishes.
She couldn’t be more right. Geoff and I have always tried to make a point to have date night once a week or to spend quality time with each other over the weekend (assuming I didn’t have to work). It was whatever we could make it – trips to Costco, trips to the grocery store, walking model homes, walking around another part of town, or venturing out further to go walk/hike.
Your spouse will spend a good chunk of the first two years (including the summers) studying. Whether that be for a class exam or the boards. Then the last two years are them on rotations both in the local area and away (audition rotations for residency). It sometimes can be hard to fit in time together and it’s easier to find an excuse as to why no time was made. They were busy studying. I had work/other commitments. The kids (if applicable) had this, that, and the other thing. We’re too tired. We forgot. We can do it another day. The list goes on. But anything important is worth making time for. Let your relationship/marriage be a priority. You won’t regret it.
xoxo
Michaella
Navigating Life as a Doctor's Wife 