When Geoff was in medical school I thought that was hard. He was busy studying all the time for the first two years. Then he was on rotations with different schedules each month. Sometimes it felt like I was single more than I was in a relationship, let alone married. But that seems so easy compared to things now.
Back in Nevada I had what seems like more friends who wanted to hang out. I had Nicole and Naomi as well as friends from work (Zappos and Tesla respectively) and our gym. If Geoff was busy, I had people I could reach out too for company. Now, that’s not saying I don’t have friends (and family) here I could reach out too…but everyone is so spread out. And I guess I’m worried I sound desperate or annoying or am bugging them by reaching out. Everyone has their own lives. Which is fine. But why does this chapter seem so harder than the last?
I now see and understand that it is hard being married to medicine. I knew it was going to be hard. But I don’t think I actually KNEW how hard it was going to be…damn. I’m learning it now for sure. How my mom and my mother-in-law did it with kids is mind blowing. To maintain a house – laundry, dishes, cleaning, preparing meals – while your husband is away for anywhere from 12 hours to days at a time because they’re on call. That s**t is hard.
It’s hard to spend all day alone. It’s hard to eat dinner alone. I miss my husband. I miss my best friend. The other day I had a doctors appointment and was reestablishing care with a physician at my father’s old clinic. Just listening to my doctor say how much she admired my father made me understand that all the time he was not at home spending time with me, my sister, and my mother….he was spending time at the clinic fostering and building a culture there. Taking care of patients and his colleagues.
But tonight in particular reminded me of all the times we (my mom, sister, and I) ate dinner without my dad. He would call at 5:45/6 every night and update my mother on his status. Usually he was home by 7/7:30 every night. But by then, we had already had dinner and were getting ready for the following day.
Geoff is about to be home for the evening…and when he gets home, I’ll almost be done eating dinner. The dishes will be started and the laundry almost done. I will have done everything myself to maintain my home. I don’t care though. I can’t wait to see him. ❤️
Navigating Life as a Doctor's Wife 