2020 Reflections

If we have learned anything from this year, it is that it has been a complete s***show. Okay, maybe not a complete s***show, but it has been challenging in more ways than one. For some, jobs were lost and anxiety about how to pay bills set in. For some, loved ones lost their lives to COVID-19 (WASH YOUR HANDS, SOCIAL DISTANCE, AND WEAR YOUR MASKS PEOPLE). For some, the battles with their physical, mental, and emotional health were conquered – and for others, they struggled. Whatever this year has looked like for you, if no one has told you recently – you’re doing great. This year has put most of us into survival mode and I think that it’s important to celebrate small wins as well as the big ones.

When I reflect on this year, I can’t help but feel blessed, frustrated, and guilty all at the same time. I feel blessed because I was able to keep my job through the pandemic as was my husband (essential worker – yay healthcare). To not have a period where we worried if we were going to be able to pay our rent, utilities, or our mortgage is truly a blessing. I understand my privilege in being able to say that. I feel frustrated because I feel like I didn’t accomplish as much as I could have. All over Instagram you see these people who used the pandemic to really make improvements in their health and in their life…yet, I feel like I have just stayed the same. Comparison really is the thief of joy. I feel guilty because of my blessings. I feel guilty that I can still enjoy my life and that I can still afford my lifestyle (not that it was all that extravagant before) and wants without thinking twice. Again, I recognize my privilege in being able to say that.

This year has seen some really crazy events – social injustice and the worldwide support of Black Lives Matter, an election that determined the fate of the country for decades to come, and a vaccine for COVID-19. I think though we can all agree that in some ways the events that transpired this year also brought us closer. We are grateful for the small things – food on the table, our health, the health of loved ones, a roof over our heads, waking up each day, a slower pace. To me, we as a country learned that the most important words in 2020 are kindness, grace, unity, strength, and hope. What words would you use to describe 2020?

As we close up the year that has been 2020. I wish for all of you a better 2021. I hope that you get to see loved ones again. I hope that you count your blessings. I hope nothing but happiness and great fortune for you and your loved ones.

All my love, Michaella